Just Want To Talk Right Now

Monday, May 1, 2023

As I started writing this post I'm sitting in my porch, drinking an iced americano & am somehow listening to Nilo Smeds' cassette tape "Helicopter Circles" anticipating my route to work today. I didn't realize that I picked up this record considering the cover of it looked like a black metal cover. Fresno doesn't seem to leave me behind. This record involved Greer McGettrick (Rademacher) and Mike Adame (Ultra Diamonds, Sunumbra & Fats Labell) who are, at least on my mind and experience, legendary in the music scene. I don't know much about Greer, but I definitely know Mike lol.

It sort of makes me realize how much I miss, and perhaps, deappreciated my time as a Fresno Scene go-er and contributor while being part of those early bands. I know I had a lot going on trying to get educated and find my calling in career, but man I wished I did a bit more recording with different types of musicians. Then again I'm glad I didn't spread myself so thin at that time.

The Fresno scene was something I've never experienced before. Being young and hungry for collaboration, being centered in the idea of knowing I was never gonna make it in a band so I might as well just show some ideas for future rockers and just be there for your friends who continue to make work was something I miss these days. But now? Hehehehhee.. I'm only tend to myself to write these songs and such. Only a few people really get a chance to collaborate with me. And I say that because not many give a shit about what I do lol.

I guess these thoughts made me think about my friend Roarie. Roarie was here a couple of days ago enjoying the time with both Jen and I with food, coffee/tea and conversations. And the thing is I've been wanting Roarie to come home to us just to hang out, laugh and feel the love we both have for this person. And those moments gave me some insight of what I miss about some of my friends that I used to be around. The idea of just hanging out without doing anything crazy and just being around each other ya know? I miss those moments so much that it makes me want to be around Roarie more.

I don't have any friends here. And I think my reason is being just closed off all the time. I'm open, but not that open you know what I mean? I need to rid of that and just open the damn door ya know?

- Arthur