Support your loved ones. Sometimes it could be the clothes you've never wore before

Friday, October 15, 2021

Awhile ago I had the pleasure of purchasing an outfit that my friend Anthony was selling through his former Bob Cut Mag company. He recently had started up And Our and has been forwarding this concept of unisex branded clothing. I've been watching up close and a bit afar to see what I can rock. There's an outfit that was influenced by me and was made specially to my frame. I couldn't believe it, but man it was an honor to actually have someone like Anthony tell me an outfit was influence by me and my personality. Thank you Anthony. You're the best and I'll do my best to help parade the cause you are trying to promote.


A Letter to My Friends I Haven't Spoken to for Nearly 10 Years Until August 21st, 2021

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

It was weird seeing all these folks for the first time in nearly 10 years. I haven't kept up with many of them (and even that much with Colby) and have been doing my own thing for a long time. Arriving at the event was a bit anxiety inducing. What was I gonna say? How do I look? Did I have any past beefs?

no. not at all

In fact every single one of them came to me with open arms. I was surprised what changed and what stayed the same. The friendship I made with them years ago sort of picked up where it left off. It was a bit overwhelming. Overwhelming because I don't really have any friends here in Connecticut. And to come back and see everyone that has helped me become the way I am today was realized the moment I stepped through that door with my girlfriend. It's been a long time. A long time not knowing what the fuck is going on.

This is the first time I've felt relieved about something I wasn't sure I was relieved about. Maybe the fact that everyone is doing alright. But at this point I just hope I can make more memories with these folks and keep in touch.

Dear Colby,
I'm sorry I haven't been there all these years. Maybe ongoing I'll call you / text you just see how things are even for just a bit. Thank you for inviting me to your wedding, home and life again. Thank you for having my girlfriend feel comfortable being part of the whole thing. I just wish I made more time for you back then. Never too late right?

Love you Colby,


Archive Scanning Project

Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Though that I've been silent for the most part I've encountered a huge project that will set me back awhile. Recently I bought a dedicated 35mm scanner (Plustek 8100) and have vigorously been scanning film almost everyday. It took two weeks to scan one folder so you can tell how slow the project is going to be. The great part of this process is being able to see some of the images I've not seen before. It's a breath of fresh air seeing how many bad images I've taken (lol) and how stylistically my work has changed. I've really slowed down a bit and my subject matter has gotten a lot more tamed. Of course living in the city helps you get more static images, but when you live in a slower space it has you looking for photographs. It's a bit weird, but I've been enjoying this quite a bit.

It's been amazing seeing these images because my new relationship has appeared numerous times, but I also stumbled upon my past life seeing how much change has transitioned from past to present. It's apparent that my depression was certainly a showcase for some of these images. My ex started to appear less and less on film and with the amount of change happening at that time I didn't see her as a beautiful person anymore. I was seeing her as a drive to my depression and a reminder that I've come a long way from self loathing.

Though I'm seeing transitions of my life appearing one by one it's also showcasing approaches of framing and how different it's become. The influences I had back then have somehow stayed with me. Images of emptiness have been a theme and as I scan more of more some of those images become apparent and accepted during the process. It became clear that the majority of the time I've been going through a lot mentally. Seeking out solitude in places that I didn't belong has been and interesting evalutation.

I don't know if I was a little apprehensive taking on such a daunting project, but I guess it's a good time to start looking at these pictures again reminding myself why I still do it. Being able to live back on these images really meant something to me. It meant that I was able to go through things and not give up. Even if it meant letting go something you were so used to. I could've stopped doing all this shit and just let myself rot, but there's something that keeps me doing it. I don't know if its pleasure or its the fact that this is the only thing I'm good at. Whatever the fuck it is I guess I'll just keep doing it until I decide to stop.