Monday, August 31, 2015
Blurs / Middletown, Ct / May 2015
How I feel on Mondays. I don't even drink
It's interesting when a company puts certain individuals in positions they can't handle and put the blame on the thing they weren't qualified for. Maybe that's why the trainer at the last company update sounded like he was drunk.
Things have been pretty busy on my end. I feel like I haven't given myself the chance to breathe and observe the happenings around me. And here I am... writing about it.. and have not given that chance still.
Over the course of the last few months my production has been crazy. Shooting pictures, editing pictures, writing music, printing books, photographing portraits, working a lot, going on small adventures, hiking, eating better, dieting, shopping for new gear, shooting digital again, and whatever else things. This mindset is endless and I think that it's healthy. I couldn't just sit on a chair and think about things anymore. Kind of tired of doing that.
So, by the time I write this I had a show and had attempted to sell books of a project that I had recently done. I had made big prints to showcase a preview of what the book looks like and shown some other pieces that could be potential for newer projects. These shows are not only a way to showcase work finished work, but to allow a preview of what's to come. It's a chance to see the audience members' reaction of what you're thinking about.
Other things have been floating on my mind aside from just shooting and creating projects. I've been on the binge listening to Ian Mckaye's wisdom over the past few months and have made some conclusions as to how I can become a better artist to not only myself, but to the world. Lately I've been wanting to share my work in more of a tangible way rather showing things on screen. Printing has been a major thing for me and allowing the people the opportunity to have a copy of what I have is more than enough for me to feel I'm succeeding as an artist.
I've been wanting to make a small distro that will allow my audience the opportunity to not only purchase my work, but the work of others as well. The distro will not only sell books or zines, but the opportunity to purchase music as well. Earlier this year I realized that music has to be attached to my work somehow. It would be stupid to stray away from something I grew up with for many years.
You will see releases shortly as I am determined to figure out how this will all work. I want this to be done right. This will be small place to work with friends and other artists that I aspire to be. Things are getting exciting and that's the way it should be.
I'm not sure if I should be writing anything as of this moment, but I'm feelin' a bit blue and maybe this whole "writing my thoughts" bit will ease some things.
I know I've mentioned my outlook regarding my work and worth in a negative way. And I can't help the fact that feeling this way stems from the worth of the guy who takes pictures of his cat, or the girls who take pictures of naked girls, or the skaters that photograph their friends drinking and passing out. This isn't anything against them, for sure, but my place in the art world is far away from the circle of artists that appreciate them.
And maybe I'm just whining about shit, but I'm kind of withering away in the world. I'll soon be buried or thrown away. I really got nothing to prove nor have anything to prove it to other than myself.
I'm beginning to think that everything that I'm doing is deeming sort of useless. Again, this is me possibly feeling like I don't belong anywhere in the world, but that's just how I feel I guess. I know that on an earlier post I had mentioned me making my art a benefit for others, but still I'd like to know if the work I'm creating is work that helps others. Because right now I feel like my work is pretty much doing nothing.
Maybe I'm getting old or decided that people are just plain crazy, but when you sniff coke during lunch and go back to processing shit on the computer you must be one fucking hell of a person. Just to be fair I'm guilty of doing such things (not that extreme though). Too much man.....