Monday, May 30, 2016
Since my last written post and the events that I have spoken about for the last few weeks things have been okay. I still struggle a bit financially and am trying my best to save money, but at this moment things are looking a little better than usual. My mood has changed, the weather has changed, my outlook on life has changed, and just trying to make changes period.
Just this past week I started a workout routine that I thing will help me on the long run. I tried doing the INSANITY workout in the mornings, but it didn't help that I had to keep up with all this nonsense almost everyday. I mean.. yes.. I was pretty healthy for the most part, but I was also just straight tired all the time. The routine died out after a few months and I started just getting lazy again. That sort of killed everything for me.
I gained a bit of weight after that. Not to the point where my body was starting to become obese, but to the point I realized that I was getting out of shape. I've been skinny all my life. I don't really want to deal with trying to workout so hard to shed pounds that I could've prevented. And that's what I'm doing.
I've learned that if I started just doing certain things each day that the routine will be much more interesting. Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays are my cardio and Tuesdays and Wednesdays are my weight training. Sundays I'll most likely do some sort of lifting of sort, but it depends how I feel that day.
The point is that I started working out not just for my health, but to help relieve my anxiety, depression and to help clear my mind of things that put me down. I think that it has helped me start becoming more creative as well. And that is essentially why I started working out. If I'm not healthy mentally and physically how healthy will my projects be? That's one scary thought for me.
Most of my friends are going to the gym and trying to make a better life for themselves no matter how shitty their days have been. That's truly an inspiration to me. They're choosing to do something with their health than just dreading on things. It's hard not to do that, I know for sure, but trying to act upon making your situations better... like why hasn't many people thought of that? I guess things are starting to make more sense now.
I'm still making the transitions to becoming an artist full time. I think that just doing what I do now will only help me on the long run.
As the weather is starting to lighten up and the workplace reaching unbearable compromise I'm making moves to exit my way out of corporate life. I'm trying my best to get myself out there and it's been awhile since I've attempted to start working as an artist. And since I'm a bit more mature (ugh) I think I'm ready to take on the industry.
Years ago I had done some posts on my experience working in New York with an old friend. I was helping out doing digital technician work for the Saks Fifth Ave shoots. It was fun, but at the same time I've noticed loads of pressure amongst the workers as deadlines needed to be met. Seems as though they were always on tight deadlines. To some degree it sort of turned me off and I vowed to just be an artist and work on another career.
But lately I've spoken with a few folks who currently are in shitty jobs, who have been laid off, who have no sense of direction, and are completely lost. They're always broke, they're always miserable, and have no motivation to just do something about it. Turned me off a it, but I then started realizing that I am sort of in that same boat. I'm rich certain days, broke most days, and depressed (as well as miserable) about my current situation.
This gave me a clear incentive to actually make things count. And I think that's why I'm here writing this today.
I started working out again. I'm not necessarily going hard as I should, but enough to allow me some release of stress. I run Monday and Wednesday and do lifts Tuesday and Thursday. Sunday I usually play things by ear. These workouts are a way to cope with what's going on and to also clear my mind. I guess you can say it helps me discover or rediscover new ideas that I haven't thought of yet.
I think that there's more to life than what I'm doing now. I don't want to be working for the weekend anymore. I wanna be working to feel like work matters. I know that I have this skillset now of doing Medicaid Insurance garbage, but my true passion lies on what I went to school for. Maybe my dreams are not dead yet.