It's Awesome To Know I'm a Nobody

Monday, February 28, 2022

... and I mean that in a genuine sense that what I do artistically isn't noted by many people. There's a comfort of being normal and not having pressure to say and do things known artists have to adhere to often. It's taxing reading comments and scrolling over video thumbnails of think pieces of artists good or bad work. The analytical deep dives are so heavy that the artist isn't even a human anymore and just a piece of art.

Lately I've been thnking about artists lifestyles and what it takes for them to just make it into the world. What it takes to live off the work they create and live with what little they have. It's a bit mindboggling how unstable and unsupported this whole concept is. I commend the efforts of these people giving their all to make statements and create what they believe in, however, where does the line draw for the amount of consistent suffering and when is "enough" enough?

My daily gets engulfed by my job, but I at least take 15 minutes to either write drum tracks on my shitty computer, take pictures outside or write down ideas for future projects. I assemble most of what I've gathered during the weekends and follow a formula that enables me to organize an approach in songwriting or photo processing. This has been a constant thing for me for the last few years. And just this year I started realizing the workflow of the process. This is the best I can do and probably the best I'll ever be able to do. I'm not really looking for fame, but an opportunity to share to people what I see and feel. And much like this blog the body of work really identifies as a diary of some sort.

There was an interview with Julian Baker that I saw a month or so ago that had her brief on the idea of having some sort of teaching career with music being a side note. And for some reason it really struck something in me knowing an artist in her caliber has casual thoughts about making this art life a passion rather than a career. And I sometimes wonder the kind of relationship these people have with art as it get bigger and bigger. What does it succumb to and is it just commerce as the years go by? It's certainly an interesting thought. Makes me wonder if the path that I took was the right direction. Why would anyone want to resent the work they put so many hours into?

I'm having fun. I can almost say for sure I'm having fun making music and taking pictures. And I know that my work won't be for everyone to see or hear, but the fact that I get to do this without any consent or restrictions is freeing. Imagine having to worry about seeing if a product you create will either make or break you? I guess that's where professionals come in knowing what sells and what dies. I don't think I want that kind of pressure embedded in me, but I guess to some it's a way to breathe new things that they see succeed or fail. And you know me.. I'm the king of failures lol.

I'm a nobody. I'm not sure if I want to be a somebody, but I do want my work to have some sort of meaning to anyone who see my pictures and listens to my music. But I do it for me. And I do it because I love it as much as I can.

- Arthur