Wednesday, October 1, 2014

But I Don't Sleep Much / Middletown, Ct / September 14, 2014

This bed is usually a stop for me to relax and think about what happened during the day at night. Weekends I get a chance to enjoy the bed more, but I usually try my best to stray away from it just so that I can stay productive. But lately I've fluctuated with good sleep, constant wake ups to go use the restroom or go to bed at absurd hours. It's supposed to be a place to help me relieve my anxiety, but that hasn't really been calm for weeks.

Something tells me that most of these fluctuations are signs of stress, loneliness, and depression. I can't tell which of the three is triggering the abnormal patterns, but I know that any of the three are reasons why I've been feeling like $400 dollars was found in my pocket or $20 dollars went missing from my wallet.

I really need to see a doctor for these kinds of things. I hate staying up, or going to the bathroom three times a night, or sleeping good when I don't deserve it. Nothing seems consistent and it's really a pain in the ass. I'm not to going to resort to any kind of medication. I hate meds and I think it will ruin my body.

I'll try to get proper sleep someday. I guess I'll just have to deal with what I have for the meantime.