Wednesday, June 5, 2019

I almost feel like this is sort of a tradition to write about my progress in the middle of the year. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but I'm too lazy to check lol. I'm going to be living with my partner on the first of July. I'm ready to start a new life with someone again. Not to say that I haven't started a new life with this person, but this is the seal to determine how well we work together.

It's been an interesting few years I must say. Much of what I dealt with in my previous relationship was financial instability and not knowing if we were going to make rent at the end of the month. Trying to figure out what we were going to do with all the bills and such was so stressful. I can't even fathom living that life again. I can't fathom being broke and not being able to eat the food I want to eat (and believe me... I've been eating good).

This time I've taken quite a bit of steps to work towards having a savings and having some stability. I'm not at the place I want to be, but maybe this wait is something I need to understand. Maybe this is the wait I've been needing to determine how much I can deal with life. Of course, I could use more vacations and could use a pay raise, but that doesn't come around if you don't put in the effort. I'm not really down with my jobs and have no feeling of a future in them, but I can tell you that for the time being I'm able to save more money that most of my friends unfortunately.

I thought about this when talking to one of my team members and have realized that I lived a pretty interesting life. In some periods they were crazy and others very flat, but I could tell you that I didn't just stay in one place. No. I kept moving around and found discoveries of myself in these beautiful and bizarre places. It's strange. I would have never thought to live in such a weird state. East coast folk are very straight forward, but they've taught me to not really give a damn if I don't have to. They taught me how to work hard without complaining (in some respects).

I still have a long way to go for sure. I know that deep down things are going to just get worse from here, but I guess it's the way I approach it will determine how well I can deal with it. Fuck it ya know? Try to help the ones you love and show some respect to the strangers and homeless. Keep the punk alive. Eat fresh veggies. Don't ever trip on things that you think are not worth your time. Maybe these motto's are the reasons why I'm still breathing and why I still can't get rid of this stupid gut.