It's Awesome To Know I'm a Nobody

... and I mean that in a genuine sense that what I do artistically isn't noted by many people. There's a comfort of being normal and not having pressure to say and do things known artists have to adhere to often. It's taxing reading comments and scrolling over video thumbnails of think pieces of artists good or bad work. The analytical deep dives are so heavy that the artist isn't even a human anymore and just a piece of art.

Lately I've been thnking about artists lifestyles and what it takes for them to just make it into the world. What it takes to live off the work they create and live with what little they have. It's a bit mindboggling how unstable and unsupported this whole concept is. I commend the efforts of these people giving their all to make statements and create what they believe in, however, where does the line draw for the amount of consistent suffering and when is "enough" enough?

My daily gets engulfed by my job, but I at least take 15 minutes to either write drum tracks on my shitty computer, take pictures outside or write down ideas for future projects. I assemble most of what I've gathered during the weekends and follow a formula that enables me to organize an approach in songwriting or photo processing. This has been a constant thing for me for the last few years. And just this year I started realizing the workflow of the process. This is the best I can do and probably the best I'll ever be able to do. I'm not really looking for fame, but an opportunity to share to people what I see and feel. And much like this blog the body of work really identifies as a diary of some sort.

There was an interview with Julian Baker that I saw a month or so ago that had her brief on the idea of having some sort of teaching career with music being a side note. And for some reason it really struck something in me knowing an artist in her caliber has casual thoughts about making this art life a passion rather than a career. And I sometimes wonder the kind of relationship these people have with art as it get bigger and bigger. What does it succumb to and is it just commerce as the years go by? It's certainly an interesting thought. Makes me wonder if the path that I took was the right direction. Why would anyone want to resent the work they put so many hours into?

I'm having fun. I can almost say for sure I'm having fun making music and taking pictures. And I know that my work won't be for everyone to see or hear, but the fact that I get to do this without any consent or restrictions is freeing. Imagine having to worry about seeing if a product you create will either make or break you? I guess that's where professionals come in knowing what sells and what dies. I don't think I want that kind of pressure embedded in me, but I guess to some it's a way to breathe new things that they see succeed or fail. And you know me.. I'm the king of failures lol.

I'm a nobody. I'm not sure if I want to be a somebody, but I do want my work to have some sort of meaning to anyone who see my pictures and listens to my music. But I do it for me. And I do it because I love it as much as I can.


- Arthur

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I Figured I Should Write Right Now

So, it's a new year and usually I'd make a post about what kinds of goals I made and to see if the results faired well. And reading the first post I did last year (which was March) the only thing I really aimed for was releasing a record. That was the goal and really nothing else. I think my ambitions were quite low given pandemic questions and what the future was going to look like that year. I can't say that I had thrived, but I can definitely say my drive to be creative was certainly flowing. And it still is.

I released a record, released a single, started scanning images, started conceptualizing new releases for 2022 and have been recording quite a bit for the last few weeks. I finally found a project I could go forth on to combine both musical and photographic projects. LST LVS is the project that I hope I can create for the next 10 or so years.

I've also made promise to start looking for a new job. I've been with my company nearly 9 years and have been burnt out on my position as a lead for awhile now. With the landscape of job offerings and the pandemic pushing folks to leave their positions companies are starting to realize that they can't do this alone and can't do sus shit to their employees anymore.

As far as my mental health is concerned? I'm very happy. Happy at the fact that I called out of my job just to make this post and look for better positions and feel a bit more at ease that working so many hours in the days without any kind of appreciation (or at least the kind where they say they're thankful, but do it to brush you off somewhat). Things are working on for the most part, but I just have to focus as much as I can.

I hope things get better for everyone. I think it's time I'm going to get mines.

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It's already the end of the year

I need to make more effort to write on this blog more. I know I've stated awhile back that I'd take a break on being actively creative, but I think I want to start writing more again. I do miss expressing certain things that I keep in my head waiting to be put down on a post or on paper. I miss trying to achieve some goals throughout the year to make sure that I'm at my game with my work. But you know... I think I have achieved a bit of progress with my creative outlet. I just don't showcase it online very much.




I recently put this up on Bandcamp and some streaming platforms. The title of this track "I'm not Ready for the Cold Winter Blues" was certainly inspired by my dad, but composed in my way of approaching blues style standards. I always thought that the blues could go somewhat deeper if given the right chord voicings and arrangement. I know I could've went more standard on this composition, but in the end my stubborn self wanted to approach it in the style of LST LVS. I can't seem to stray away from my EMO / Indie / Mathrock roots. I usually try to create a body of work with those parameters in mind. Thinking about it now I'm realizing how open I've been about integrating more influences to my music. Over the last few years I've come to take interest in KPop & City Pop styles and allowed more Hip Hop & R&B to be a thing for me as well. I think in the new body of work that's become even more present that usual.

In the photography front there's not that has changed really. Given the circumstances of my days I don't usually photograph outside of my usual schedule, but I'm finding it comforting to be able to do this body of work in my own pace. I'm beginning to see a lot of people ween out of photography like it was a distant memory they've wanted to forget. Somehow people's testament in this medium veers to a negative right with loads of stop signs and ends. In the back of my mind I kinda knew that something was going to change for those photographers. That's when I knew I would just do it for the purpose for myself and not other people. Not to mention that many folks that I follow have this weird relationship with it right now. I'm glad I'm a nobody and no one, but a couple of people, do appreciate the body of work I create.

Right now I'm using my photographs as a starting point on how I want to approach a record. It's been giving me a pretty good set of parameters to go off from when I'm thinking about how I want to compose a song. Writing has been slow, but it's been fun as well. Listening and enjoying some of the moments that I record as well as the images that I edit for the project has been awesome. I'm not sure if this has been a best time of my life being creative, but I do know that it's the best time to be creative. There are so many things I want to do, but I have to save them for later.

I'm definitely happy about my situation. The world is still kinda weird right now, but I'm enjoying this amount of solitude with my loved one. I might be staying inside for another longer period of time, but if that's the case I'm definitely ready for it. I may write another post before the end of the year. Until then thank you all for being around. I miss you all.


-Arthur

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