Friday, March 16, 2018

This morning sort of got me thinking about a lot of things when I had a conversation with my girlfriend about paying her respects to a family friend that recently passed away. It's a somber thing to think about, but when it's something that you can't control it could shake you up a bit. We joke about how our heritage, in some ways, being stubborn to go to the doctor, but we know that healthiness is something we try to take seriously. Of course living a little does come and risking something does change things a bit, but is it worth it at the expense of your health? I honestly don't think so.

During and after my divorce I saw that my mental and physical health was improving. For seven years I dealt with numerous amounts of stress financially and emotionally. I've recently gotten better dealing with it, but there are times I'm privately spaced out about past experiences and almost feeling sorry for myself I had put myself through those things. Some of that hurt still follows me, but I try my best to not let it get to my head. As my mental and physical health improves my ability to create improves as well and maybe that's why I'm writing all this.

I think it's important to surround yourself with positive energy even when you live in an environment that's negative. It's also important to be aware of your health and how you live day by day. Some of those poor choices could catch up to you and really damage your future self. I'm not saying that living a little will be a complete consequence, but being careful of things you do is much better than being careless. That's probably why I'm at the state I'm in today.

My truck is on the fritz again, I've slightly returned on crap diet, I haven't been going to the gym because of said truck and shitty weather conditions, and my anxiety is trying to have a fight with me. I mean with all that how the fuck do you deal?


1. I should've maintained my truck all this time (and I'm so glad that I've been saving money just in case.)

2. I should've grocery shopped properly (eating vegan burgers for a few days isn't healthy)

3. I shouldn't have drank that coffee on Wednesday morning when I got all stressed out.

4. I need to think before I start assuming shit.

I really don't know where I was getting at with all this, but I just want to say this.... I'm trying to make better choices and I'm trying my best to be healthier. I'm still considering getting a therapist for a few sessions, but overall I'm doing what I can. I guess that's all I wanted to say... This blog might've been very useless to write and read, but it certainly felt better for me.