Monday, September 25, 2017

I'm in the process of divorce.

Just writing that looks and feels odd. And to tell you the truth this whole blog has been based on my experience with my former significant other. To write such a thing feels ridiculous and I'm not sure how I can take it.... but I'm here doing what I can to take those steps.

This blog has been undergoing many changes since its inception. Good and bad designs of logos, decent to shitty pictures, thoughts about things I do and don't care about, and what it felt like to be married. All continue to do that, but will be doing that while being single.

This place allowed me (and I hope it continues to) the freedom to say and do whatever I want. Most of time, however, I've done my best to set goals every year to display a continuous body of work that I may or may not use for future endeavors. About 10 to 20 percent of these images get used for some type of body of work in my portfolio or any gallery showings. A portion of those images are of my former wife smiling or not. And now looking at these images of her and anything attached to her it's almost heartbreaking to even look at.

Marriage is built by two individuals who love and care for each other. In some circumstances it's a way to gain some benefits from other family members while others see it as something to do. In my view I've always thought it was about showing my worth to that other person. Showing that person that I'll put you in front and me way back. That may have been a bad idea at the start, but I've always been the type to be selfless in that way. All I can really say is that the value of your human existence should be considered at the fullest. Share the love, but also focus on what's best for you. Being at the center of the stage is weird, but it's something I have to do.

At the beginning of October I'll be posting regularly again. This time only on Mondays. Because of what's been going on I'm trying my best to make good art again. I feel that most of my pictures and even songs I've written have been sooo half-assed. Not only that I'm going to try and do weekly vid posts as well. It's only a matter of time until I start making time for this stuff and have it become a priority.

For next year I'm going to go full digital. This time I'm going to focus on black and white photography. I have a lot of film that I have developed and underdeveloped that needs to be worked on. From there I'm going to decide on making a book of sorts and see if anything that I've photographed has a rhythm. I really need to get back into doing what I love to do, because it's been years since I've been able to do something like this full time.