Monday, July 18, 2016

Me at 29 / ?, MA / July 11, 2015

Lately the thought about my age has been on my mind and have been thinking about what I've done over the last few years. A lot of my friends have become successful in ways that I would've never guessed. Of course, some friends (or acquantances) are still doing the same shit and still trying to figure it out. I don't if I'm a successful individual or a fuck up in my own way. I do believe, however, that my path in life isn't where I want to be. This mindset has been ongoing for quite some time.

For the last few summers I've been broke and hungry. I've been asking for money amongst my family and friends. And when your wife is in transitions with her job money doesn't come by easily. Thankfully this coming month our finances will be a bit more secure. And I'm sure it's something that will ease me up a bit.

But this week I have to file a hardship on my 401k just in case something were to happen. And I'm just really stressed out about all this crap. I want to save money and want to have a future with my wife, family and friends. But I feel like this isn't happening at the moment. And I'm really fucking scared these days. I guess...